It’s always a shame, oh no.

I am heartbroken by the news of Taylor Hawkins’ death overnight. Just 50 years old.

Taylor was the drummer of my favorite band, Foo Fighters. I just read Dave’s autobiography this winter and saw their ridiculous horror movie last month. This band has been part of me for 25 years. I feel like I knew Taylor so well.

I’ve seen them so many times. Their first sold out arena show in DC in 2012 back when it was still Verizon Center, on The Mall in 2014, opening night at the Anthem in 2017, their first time at Merriweather in maybe 2017 or ‘18?, and I was looking forward to seeing them soon in Boston over Memorial Day with my brother and sister in just two months. I’d been waiting for that show since before the pandemic. Incredible to think the show will go on but, without the headliner. Or, so I assume. At least without Taylor. Though I can’t imagine how they go on anytime soon. I can’t fathom it.

This feels awful. It feels really heavy and unfair and, frankly, unbelievable. As much as I am hurting and sad, I cannot imagine what his wife and children and band mates are experiencing. I feel especially for Dave and Pat, who have both already had to deal with the tragic and shocking death of another friend and band mate. And for Dave, another icon. Let’s not debate the value of Kurt versus Taylor, okay? I’ve seen that (near-sighted and self-indulgent) slant and let’s just not go there. Either way, far more tragedy than any person deserves in this life.

For months now I’ve been saying that, at some point every day, and some times all day, I feel like I am one setback away from completely losing my shit. It is terrifying not to know what magnitude of stumble might be the one to push me over the edge. Could it be something catastrophic like another Ukraine, or KBJ not being confirmed to SCOTUS, or something very trivial like not being able to find my keys one morning, or being too hangry to make dinner? Or could it be losing a beloved titan of rock n roll?

I hate loss. I hate it so, so much.

It just keeps coming

Are you a little afraid?

A little alone?

A little exhausted?

Do you give it away?

Do you let go?

Where do you find it?

Don’t leave me drowning in your Sunday rain

It’s right down the drain, I go

Don’t leave me drowning in your Sunday rain

It’s always a shame, oh no

Music for the Mood: Sunday Rain – Foo Fighters

The music for the mood today is a FF song that Taylor and Dave often traded places for when they played live. I find myself hearing Taylor’s voice singing Sunday Rain this morning, singing these words while those hard rock chords pound through my chest. It does nothing to numb the pain but sometimes you need to just feel.

Fun fact: Sir Paul McCartney played drums on this track on the FF album. I just love the hell out of that.

You don’t generally think of him as a drummer. But he laid that track so fucking effortlessly. He never even heard the song – Dave kind of explained it to him with an acoustic guitar. And he was like, ‘Yeah, yeah. I think I know what you’re doing.’

Taylor Hawkins – From Rolling Stone, September 6, 2017
Rest In Peace, Taylor. I hope there’s a drum kit waiting on the other side.

Author: tigerlilyvegas

Former high school counselor, left of center, lover of grilled cheese, black coffee & IPAs. Equal affinity for turquoise water & white sands and the quiet, calm, green & wooded heaven that is western PA. Passionate about equity, justice, and requited love. And crucifying cheaters.

2 thoughts on “It’s always a shame, oh no.”

  1. Foo Fighters are my favorite band, also. Sunday Rain is a beautiful song. I played it on repeat when it first released. I only saw them live once, Richmond Coliseum in 2017. I am grateful to have had the experience of seeing Taylor play live. It was an amazing show. He was so talented. 💔

    Liked by 1 person

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